omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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