Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
