Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
