Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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