Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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