I must be too annoying 4 u.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
