How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
