I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
