So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
