So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
