whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
