drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize