I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
