I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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