I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
