Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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