my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
