I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
