Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
