dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize