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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you had an obligation.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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• (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.

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• (518): View more from New York

  There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it

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• (682): View more from Texas

  I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.

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