We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
