I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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