So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
