She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
