At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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