Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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