I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
