Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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