Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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