How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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