Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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