There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
