Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
