I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize