If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
