The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
