Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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