dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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