Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
