She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
