Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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