tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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