Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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