Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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