lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
