I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
