walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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