Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am midnight drunk by noon
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
