I want to make a zoo with you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
