there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
