I'm gonna have a badass scar
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
