is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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