Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When are your genitals available?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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