So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
