I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
