I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
