Porn is love you can see.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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