i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
