PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
