And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
