it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
