My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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