addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
