I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
even my farts smell like vagina
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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