idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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