wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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