You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize