you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my shit smells like andre
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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