why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
