Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
