I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
