Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
