my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
