and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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