I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
