I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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