"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
