I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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