"it" just moved
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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